but she's a little bug to be crushed

we are the generation that "likes" the statuses of our exes.

gone are the good old days when you would just “accidentally” spill your drink all over the new girl’s white chiffon dress and call it a day. find another man ASAP, instead of post albums upon albums, invading their mini feed with pictures of yourself performing beautiful-sexy-confident-HAPPY-WITHOUT-HIM and then crying yourself to sleep every night because in actuality you feel kinda-all-by-your-lonesome.

so what if it’s a little cyber lie? and yeah, maybe the new girl’s beautiful, but YOU’RE keeper of his past. she doesn’t know what “peanut butter sandwich without jelly” means – you do.

why is it so impossible to draw the line and stick to it? must you always feel compelled to leave a lipstick stain on his social media existence? spend hours poring over her profile pictures, comparing the size of her nose to yours and the distances between your eyes?

if you were a real person, you’d tell him off without batting an eyelash and MOVE ON with your life. instead, you stare green-eyed and small in front of that computer screen at work, wishing you could delete the little whore off the face of Facebook and then tweet about it to your seven and a half followers:

she’s a slut @newgirl and who needs him anyway, i’m fabulous just the way i am #jealouspatheticex