dream analysis in five parts:

"what is clearly the essence of the dream-thoughts need not be represented in the dream at all. the dream is, as it were, differently centered from the dream thoughts...dreams such as these give a justifiable impression of displacement."

-sigmund freud; from "the interpretation of dreams"


dream I:

R stands outside of my house next to the street lamp. i watch him from behind the curtain (all the lights in the room are off). R lights a cigarette (camel). i do the same. we mirror one another completely. R turns his head to stare at my window from the corner of his eye. i retreat into the shadows out of fear.

dream II:

R locks me up in a different house. the house is much bigger than the one we used to live in, but details such as this one don't mean a thing. i climb up and down the stairs, searching for unlocked doors, opened windows, secret underground passages...R is hidden elsewhere, in some other corner of the house. i can hear him, but he never appears before my eyes in the flesh. R is a voice that doesn't stop talking.

dream III:

i wake up to find myself sitting in the living room of the house that R grew up in as a child. his parents sit across from me, smiling. "we're getting married today," R tells me. i'm whisked off onto a plane headed towards our honeymoon destination. the plane crashes. moments before impact, my only thought: "i don't want R to be the one holding my hand when we all go down in flames."

dream IV:

R walks straight up to me in broad daylight, face to face, and sneers: "you've been a naughty little girl, haven't you?"

dream V:

i realize (nearly two years later) that R is me/my guilty conscience/my superego of sorts.